John McGivern Hosts a Squid Game Murderous Secret Contest

One of Milwaukee’s most affable celebrities has a very uncharming and unaffable secret: local actor and storyteller John McGivern accidentally revealed during a recent performance that he was hosting a secret, deadly Squid Game competition.

McGivern made the confession during a Thursday performance of “Milwaukee: What a Lovely City” at the Northern Lights Theater at the Potawatomi Hotel & Casino.

According to shocked attendees, McGivern was talking about some of his favorite local landmarks when the conversation turned. Suddenly, he started talking about some sort of ceremonial killing contest similar to Netflix’s hit dystopian TV show.

“If you walk down any street in Wisconsin, you can find a story,” he riffed. “You walk down a road and find a family business, over 100 years old. You walk down another road and find a Cream City brick building filled with history. And, sometimes, you walk down a road, play At a game with a wealthy stranger, take his business card, agree to play games for money, and find yourself playing Red Light Green Light against a giant motion sensor robot surrounded by snipers. This is what makes Wisconsin truly unique and special.

“I could definitely go get a scoop of delicious Cedar Crest ice cream,” he added.

The jovial local celebrity – known for his big smile and love of Oxford shirts – continued to drop more clues throughout the night about his seemingly murderous hobby.

“My friends and I loved playing tug of war together – even though the game is MUCH more fun when the losing team falls into a giant chasm of despair and death, sending the winning team into guilt and grief. greed,” McGivern noted. during the performance.

The mentions of Squid Game surprised many viewers.

“Here John was telling a delicious anecdote about a small town bakery with delicious homemade scones…and then suddenly he’s talking about how he has 200 people in a warehouse about to fight to the death, lit by a giant silver piggy bank,” said Mark Struthern, 45, of Butler. “It was a real change of tone – even though suddenly his costume on stage, including a mask and a combination, made a lot more sense.”

“I’m Sorry: What’s a Squid Game Now?” asked 79-year-old audience member Bethel Greenspow from Sussex.

Most shockingly of all, McGivern has hinted that he’s not the only local celebrity involved in the Squid Game shenanigans.

“There we were – me, John Gurda, my brother, Mike Gousha, Gene Mueller, the Milverine and the animatronic old lady from the Streets of Old Milwaukee exhibit – baking these honeycomb candies and printing out shapes, laughing the whole time at whoever got the umbrella. Just good old fashioned stuff, McGivern reportedly said.

Police said they are not investigating McGivern or any other alleged celebrity attendees at this time.

“I’m sure the only thing McGivern ever killed was his audience at ‘Sheer Madness’ at the time; he killed me, for sure,” Sheriff William “Willy” Williams said. “I went back there nine more times while the show aired. I couldn’t stop laughing!”

Locals, however, aren’t so sure.

“Is there a Squid Game right now? And, more importantly, how many other Netflix shows does McGivern emulate in real life,” said Kitty Christiansen, a concerned Brookfield resident. “Does he pull an Anna Delvey and send non-existent wire transfers to people? Does he cut up random objects to see if they’re really piece of cake? dress in drag like Daphne Bridgerton? Where does it stop!?”

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